From The Outside Looking In..The Journey Continues

For those that have been following over the last few days, I have been sharing our family's story about ED...an eating disorder that really took a toll on our lives. I'll pick up today where I left off.

Up until just a few years ago, I would ride by homes and think...WOW! They've got it made, a beautiful home, perfect family, great life. Never really appreciating what I had. I was too focused at times on what I didn't have to fully recognize how blessed I was. I'm sure that from the outside looking in, it probably appeared to others that we had the perfect family and great life too. Looks however can so often be deceiving...all that glitters ain't gold.

After our last visit with the pediatrician, she convinced me that we needed to seek professional help. This was probably one of the hardest things I ever had to do...admit there was a real problem. To begin with I had never in my life seen a psychologist other than the ones that had worked in the schools where I had taught, but we knew we needed help and fast.

From the outside looking in... no one could see the pain we were feeling as we learned from the psychologist that our daughter was deep in the throes of an eating disorder and going down hill fast. Medication wasn't even an option at this point to level the anxiety, because her body wouldn't be able to metabolize it.

From the outside looking in... no one could see the total frustration my husband and I would exchange, both verbally and with glances, as we begged, coaxed, and argued with our daughter for her to eat at dinner time.

From the outside looking in...no one could see the shame and guilt we felt and put on our daughter for doing this to her body and to us. Why?

From the outside looking in...no one could see that it wasn't about the food at all, but rather ED was serving a purpose in our daughter's life...very legitimate needs for her that we didn't understand at the time.

From the outside looking in...no one could see the side effects that were masked during the day. Her beautiful olive complexion had now turned a pasty gray. Our daughter's long thick hair would fall out in handfuls. Extreme hot and cold were the norm...mostly cold. Dressing in layers of warm clothing. Her nails became brittle and skin extremely dry. Because of her low weight, her body began to try and protect itself by growing baby fine hair on the trunk called lanugo. Due to lack of nutrition, her digestive system was no longer functioning properly. Rapid heart beats and severe headaches would make her dizzy to the point of almost passing out.




From the outside looking in...no one could know that just like having a new baby, I would get up three maybe four times a night just to make sure my little girl was breathing.

From the outside looking in...no one could see and know the pain we felt after three months of intense therapy week after week and sometimes twice a week with no change.

From the outside looking in...no one could see the heartbreak we felt when Dr. Combs said to us "If she had cancer, you'd find the best treatment possible and get her there, if you don't she will die."

From the outside looking in...no one could see how my heart was breaking in two the day I had to withdraw our daughter from middle school, from the only life she knew, and prepare to take her all the way across the country to a treatment facility that was supposed to be the best for children.

From the outside looking in... no one could see and understand the worry my husband and I were experiencing, wondering how in the world we were going to afford this.

From the outside looking in...no one had a clue what we were about to do, but I was finally feeling a sense of peace that there was hope and on March 31, 2006 the recovery began.

Because we were so numb at the time, I don't even think we realized that God was leading the way. As I said in an earlier post, there is hope and there is healing because we have God as the great physician.

Embrace Hope!
Ginger